Dill Pickles. Truth be told, I’ve never pickled or jellied or anything of the sort and have no idea why, after turning 35, I’ve decided to become an old lady. And, if I continue my truth-ing, I don’t actually like pickles. My dad use to put bread & butter pickles in my tuna, so that does have some essence of nostalgia for me, but that’s about the totality of my pickle desires. I have, however, watched Snooki and Anna Nicole Smith make sweet sweet love to some pickles while watching some sad reality TV, and have some appreciation for their lusting, so I decided to add “Pickler” to my CV.

EQUIPMENT:

6 1-Quart Canning Jars with Lids
1 Large Water bath Canner
1 Medium Saucepan (for Brine)
6-pc Canning set
1 Plate for Lids
Measuring Cups / Spoons

INGREDIENTS:

BRINE:
6 cups White vinegar
6 cups Water
8 tbsp. Pickling salt

DILL PICKLES
12 lbs. Pickling cucumbers (approximately 5 cucumbers per jar)
12 Garlic cloves, peeled
24-30 Fresh dill strands (4-5 strands per jar)
3 tsp. Whole black peppercorns
12 Dried red pepper pods (I used Chile Japones)
6 Fresh grape leaves

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Fill a Large Water-Bath Canner (with rack) half with water and put it on the stove.
2. Remove lids, fill all jars with water, add them to the (still cold) water bath, and turn stove on high to bring to a boil.
3. Prep all Cucumbers; wash, cut ends, slice if desired.
4. In a medium saucepan, bring vinegar, water, and salt to a boil. Maintain heat.
5. Place lids on a deep plate and cover with a little of the boiling water. This will warm and prepare the lids to ensure a good seal.
6. Lift the rack on the Water-Bath Canner. You are going to prepare one jar at a time, in effort to keep each jar hot. Remove a jar from the boiling water and empty it into a spare pot; this water can be used to ensure there is enough water to cover the jars in the water bath.
7. In each jar, add 1 small grape leaf, 2 cloves garlic, 4-5 dill strands, 1/2 tsp whole black peppercorns, and 2 dried red pepper pods.
8. Pack cucumbers tightly in each jar.
9. Pour hot brine over cucumbers, leaving 1/4 inch room on the top.
10. Wipe sweat from your brow, tell yourself not to panic, and pray for no Botulism. Seriously though, canning for the first time is stressful. I don’t know how the cute little silver-tips do it.
11. Wipe the top of jar with a clean damp cloth, and add hot lid and band.
12. Place in hot water bath and process for 10 minutes at a rolling boil. Remove jars and place on a towel overnight. In the morning, check to ensure that the jars are sealed by pressing down on the center of the lid; if you hear a “pop” sound, swear profusely, and consider a new hobby.

Disclaimer: Since these need to sit approximately 2 weeks before eating, if after 2 weeks you never hear from me again, do NOT make these pickles. You have been warned. ENJOY!