I’ve been wanting to try to make candy poison apples ever since I saw this post on pinterest. I haven’t made candy or caramel since high school, and I thought I might blow up the house, but the whole process was actually much simpler than I anticipated.

INGREDIENTS:
6 large unwaxed apples or 12 smaller ones (or a mix of the two)
Bamboo sticks / Popsicle sticks /tongue depressors / real sticks / pokey-things / whatever
2 cups white sugar
3/4 cup water
1/2 cup light corn syrup
Black gel food coloring
Arsenic (optional) (I KID I KID!)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Wrap a few pieces of saran wrap around a baking sheet and stab innocent apples mercilessly.

2. In a medium pot, combine sugar, water, and corn syrup and stir over medium heat until all of the sugar has dissolved. The easiest way to check this is to dip your finder in the pot every few minutes and rub your finger and thumb together. Once you no longer feel the grit of the sugar, add a few drops of the black food coloring and turn the stove on high.

3. Allow the mixture to boil until it reaches the hard crack stage (150°c/310°F). You’ll need to check the temperature frequently with a thermometer. The minute the temp reaches 310°F, move the pot to another burner (that is off) and let it sit for 1-2 minutes, just long enough for the bubbles to disappear.

4. Carefully twirl the apples into the tar pit. You will need to move somewhat fast here because the mixture will harden as it cools. Place them back on the saran wrapped cookie sheet and point and laugh at your kids for having to wait 30 minutes for them to cool.

5. Wrap em’ with some saran wrap and some flair and call it a day.

There are a few things I might do differently next time:

• Realize I am making candy apples and not caramel apples. When I saw the recipe initially, my brain told me that toffee and caramel were the same thing. Wrong-zilla. I should have caught this when I saw I was bringing the temperature to a hard-crack stage, but my soul still said caramel. In my opinion, caramel apples are for eating, and candy apples are for looking pretty, but that is just me. I can’t chew ice either, if that tells you anything.
• Definitely wait for the bubbling to come to a minimum. I have a few that have some bubbles on them. No biggie, just trying to get pro-status.
• Make Kennedy eat hers at the dinner table, and chop most of the candy off. Seriously, how much dog hair on a candy apple will it take to make you gag? What is the likeliness that you’ll have to cut this out of your toddlers hair if you fail to make a ponytail? What the hell was I thinking?