A few weeks ago my mom asked if I wanted to come spend Labor Day weekend with her in Mount Shasta and possibly go to the Blackberry festival. I did a quick Google of “blackberry festival” and was sold after reading “Labor day weekend, “”sack races” and “blackberry pie.” We left Matt behind and headed up the hill Saturday morning. The drive was fairly unremarkable: three hours of a long, straight road, large over-filled tomato trucks that drop over-ripe tomatoes around every turn, and Elmo echoing loudly from the tablet strapped to the back of my headrest. Once we got to my Mom’s house, the rest of our evening consisted of numerous cups of coffee, a failed attempt at a nap, and a nice quiet dinner, and the realization that I am a Google failure. You see, in my haste, the Blackberry festival that I read about the week before was not, in fact, happening anywhere near Mt. Shasta. There was, however, a Blackberry festival…

“There will be no admission fee thanks to Scott Valley Bank, which is again sponsoring the festival as part of its “Summer Concerts in the Parks” series. Families are encouraged to spend the afternoon in the park. A variety of games and races will take place for children throughout the day. A barbecue lunch, beer and other beverages, and special event t-shirts will be sold by the Rotary Club. A favorite desert are the blackberry pies, baked exclusively for the festival the day before by Rotarian volunteers. Pie can be purchased whole or by the slice, with or without ice cream.”

While it wasn’t a 3-day ordeal, this still sounded… promising. Right?

WRONG! Let’s re-write this paragraph, shall we?

There will be no admission fee thanks to Scott Valley Bank, which is too cheap to bring a portable ATM to this cash-only event. Families are encouraged to forgo all hygienic activities for one month prior to the festival and are welcome to sleep in various stages of inebriated on the grass for as long as they’d like. There will be old sweaty men dancing to bad rock cover bands with crappy special event t-shirts tucked in their butt cracks to catch the drippings. A favorite, and the only desert are the blackberry pies and vanilla ice cream; you will need to stop at the grocery store on the way home if you want any blackberry Marionberry pie.

Seriously! How does a Blackberry festival run out of pie? And yes, we did stop on the way home.

Romper | Duchess & Lion
Hi-tops | Vans