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Texting with the Big Kid
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K: Daddy, your hands are cold. Are you from Amartica? It’s a snowy place.
With the most serious expression… I thought she might tell me that one of he dolls had died.
K: Mom, I have confawdince.
When trying to describe something that occurred yesterday
K: Once upon a very long time ago…
Lying in bed
K: I want to be brown
K: Ray’s brown. I want to be brown like Ray. I want you, and me and… umm… I want us to be brown. Okay?
Me: Um… Well… errr… (I start talking about how everyone is unique and a little different, but she’s not really having it)
K: (Starts whimpering)
Me: (Continuing on)… But were all the same on the inside… we have bones… and red hearts… and…
K: NO MOM… I have a pink heart.
Me: umm… well, no, actually…
K: MOM… It’s PINK.
Me: Ugggh.
I pride myself on these moments…
So, Nivek wants a new videogame…This conversation took place over the entire course of my workday today. I don’t know if this is more of a “you had to be there” funny, but it had me crying by the end.
And with that… He’s playing Overwatch as I type. Pew pew.
WHAT!?
Kennedy.
shit.
in.
the.
fucking.
dog.
run?
How does this happen?! Part of me is confused, and the other half of me thinks: Man! She is so smart. Way to go! You could have shit anywhere kid, but you chose to go outside and drop one in the dog run. Good for you!
Here’s what happened (says the man who swears he didn’t teach her to drop her pants wherever she is standing and pee in the backyard):
So I got out of the shower yesterday afternoon, and I noticed my house was unusually quiet. Mija was at work, Nivek was at school, and I had the house with Kennedy. She was content with an afternoon snack and an episode of Care Bears, so I decided to shower before picking N up from school. Like I said, unusually quiet. It’s a scary thought when you can’t find your 2 year old. I rushed room to room. Nothing. Maybe the chicken coop or garden. Nothing. Now I’m really freaked. I didn’t even see the dogs. Worst case was her taking them for an afternoon stroll. The dog run was my last option. I saw her pants just outside of the door, and as soon as I called for her, Huck rounded the corner licking his lips like he was in trouble. Here comes Kennedy meandering behind the dogs with just her t shirt on, smelling her hand. “Eeeeewwwww stinky daddy!” Great. She was playing with poop! I went to wash her hands, and they were clean….. “Daddy, wipe myyyyyy butt!” Yup. She took a page from the dogs, and left some soft serve on the walkway of the dog run.
Need proof? I’ll just leave this here…
This pretty much sums up life with a 13 year old…
Otherwise, I think it went really well. She wasn’t particularly fond of the kangaroo mascot who was doing the hokey pokey with the kids with lights out (I cant make this shit up), but other than that, I think she liked it.
Bodysuit | American Apparel
Shorts | Zara